As I write this, I stop to count days! Today is Tuesday. On Thursday, it will be ten weeks since I donated a kidney to my uncle. Maybe you have wondered why my blog stopped or maybe not:) The reason was one I never expected!
As you know, I am somewhat OCD! I like things in order! I had a plan. Hurry up and write about the eight to nine month decision process and be ready to go. If I could accomplish this, then at surgery time I would be ready to blog in real-time. The closer to surgery I got, the more stressed I was becoming. Why the heck did I have to be so long-winded! Because, I’m a story-teller, that’s why! Yet, I had to consider what the self-inflicted stress was doing to my body. I felt run down and decided that was not a good way to undergo a serious surgery! I looked at my options, because that’s how I do things. I came up with an alternative plan. I would stop blogging a few days before surgery and pick back up two or three days after surgery. I didn’t!
I tried multiple times but could not concentrate! My brain simply could not concentrate. I am a voracious reader. I could not read! I seriously could not read and understand the writing on the back of my poptart box! (Yes, I know they will kill me! But, hey I just made it through a complicated four-hour surgery and felt like walking on the wild side!) I couldn’t read and it scared me! I had No fear of surgery, none! Even at the point of being wheeled down the hall to the operating room, I had no fear. I thought I might, but I didn’t. There was nothing but peace, because I know without a doubt God guided me in the decision to give a kidney away. Days passed after surgery and still I could not concentrate. I read my Bible each morning and I would read a few pages over and over. That scared me! Nothing I read prepared me for that. My sister kept assuring me it was just a side effect of the anesthesia. I asked the doctors and nurses and they agreed, it was a result of anesthesia. They kept telling me it would pass. But, what if it didn’t! I LOVE to read! Life as I knew it would be over! I know you think that is dramatic. But, to me it wasn’t. It isn’t! I cannot imagine life without reading. I get attached to books. I re-read books often. I love people but I LOVE books:)
So, here I am almost ten weeks later and it has gotten better. But, I am not back to my pre-anesthesia self. I still have to read most sentences twice. I am no longer scared and I know I will get back to normal. Time!
PS. Now I have a brain problem, so please forgive my punctuation problems!
PSS. But, how was donating a kidney you ask. I’m going to get to that. Eventually!
One thought on “Failed Plans”
Wow! Here we are, Kathy! All of that is so strange. Anesthesia must cause mental quirks for lots of people. I have heard a number of tales from different friends. It must be that the more of the stuff you take, the more complicated the quirk is and the longer it takes to get over it. That was a long surgery, and I imagine that you had more anesthesia than the average amount given.
Charles is in such shock in so many ways. Part of his brain is still waking up, but he has a deep smile, and no matter what trouble he has, he is beyond happy. He has had so many problems, none of which he was given the slightest clue was going to happen. Dr. Williams told us last week that Charles slipped into the transplant “through the eye of a needle.” He and Dr. Wynn, the transplant surgeon, both said the word “heart failure.” We assume with all that the doctors have said, combined with what occurred, just a little longer and Charles would not have made it. He actually was not a good candidate for a transplant. Dialysis was really doing a number on Charles’s heart fast. Last Friday, Dr. Vallette, Charles’s local vascular surgeon, did a fistula ligation to tie off the artery and vein that was made for dialysis. According to all of the doctors, the heart failure is reversible, and this ligation will do the trick. Immediately, his heart rate slowed to a near normal pace. Next, his heart will have to be shocked to beat with a normal rhythm. Every day here is happy and exciting.
Take your time about writing. When more time passes and you get rested up and relaxed, everything will all come back. For now, try to not worry. You are our hero. We are so blessed to have you, and we thank God every day for you. Aunt Becky and Uncle Charles