April 24, 2015
How does one begin blogging about a decision that was so easy and yet so hard?
It’s a dichotomy: Contradictory feelings, at least in the beginning.
No one wakes up one day and says, “Hey, I think I will give one of my kidneys away.”
It is a Process and one I look back on wondering, why did it take me so long to obey that still, small voice speaking to my spirit? It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t lack of clarity!
It was that I didn’t really want to hear what I knew I was hearing. Have you ever done that?
Procrastinated, hoping God’s voice speaking to you would go away! Hoping you had misunderstood! I suppose we all have done so at some point in life.
However, I procrastinated about 8 months, which kind of borders on disobedience!
I had a number of very good reasons and valid reasons why I could not give a kidney to my uncle! Later I will tell you some of them and how much of my thinking on living donors was inaccurate.
I procrastinated long enough that I was fifth in line wanting to give my uncle a kidney.
Last place! To the four people ahead of me, thank you. Your stories were used to teach perseverance, patience, thinking of others before self, and waiting on God’s timing, not our own!
I was the third to make it through the testing phase.
Imagine living such a life that five different people would want to give you a kidney!
But, that side of the story is not mine to tell.
My story can’t be told apart from my faith or family!
My faith is central to how my husband and I live and how we make decisions.
Family shapes who we are.
Blogs by nature are personal. While you will learn a little bit about me (ok maybe a lot) that is not my goal.
Journaling is therapeutic, but I don’t journal. I make copious notes in my date book. (Yes, I still use one and where I go, it goes.) I’m going to try and translate those notes into blog form, in hopes it will help me understand my own feelings. I have a large and close extended family on both my father’s side and my mother’s side, and this will help them understand my decision! While it is important to me to understand myself, that is not my goal. Wanting my family to understand is not my goal. These will just be by-products.
I truly desire above all else that the process of becoming a kidney donor be understood through the eyes of a donor. In my own research, I found far more on the recipient’s end than the donor’s end.
I spent a lot of time reading other people’s stories and researching facts and statistics. Two that helped me were blogs that included pictures and videos but were several years old and about donors much younger than I am. Wanting my behavior to be different this time, I didn’t wait when I heard that still, small voice say, “You should do the same. It helped you, didn’t it?”
Indeed it did.
Often times we feel as if there is little we can do to contribute to change. Good change!
One thing I know after moving a lot is this: The Lord determines the boundaries of our
lives! He wants us to be responsible within the realm of influence He has placed us!
That’s the people I know. That’s you! So I will tell my story in hope that God is speaking to you or someone you know about the possibility of organ donation!
If you have never given any thought to organ donation, much less living organ donation, I hope you will! There is so much need! According to the United Network for Organ Sharing (as of April 17, 2015), every ten minutes someone is added to the national transplant waiting list and on average, twenty one people die each day while waiting for a transplant!
PS. The beautiful picture you see as my header is not my own. I want to sincerely thank
Ehlers Alaskan Photography for permission to use it! His work is beautiful!!
You can get prints, and I hope you will look him up at http://ehlersalaskanphotography.smugmug.com/